Christmas eve has past and I got a lot of nice things, candles, waffleiron, candy, money, and a lot of other stuff.. Today I'm in a sketching mood but it dosen't work out like it's supposed to so I believe I'll give up soon and start up again another day.. I'm a little bit tired, and I have a real hard time sleeping at night.. My twinbrother is visiting us today and the two of them have been playing videogames for hours.. I don't know if they'll give up before they've finished off the game, we'll see.. I'm restless and I know that when I'm in this mood there's no point in continue to draw because it'll end up in a disappointed and angry me.. So maybe I'll just lay on the sofa for a while and watch the two of them continue the game, just relax a while! 

I remember that as late as last spring I could catch myself thinking "God, what a boring life I have, I haven't done anything!" But now when I think back of my almost 20 years alive I've spent them in a way that many can't. I've done a lot of things, I've travled, I've had and I still have great friends and I've also lost some of my greatest. I've been abroad several times and I've spent my time exactly how I've wanted. I'm almost 20 years old and I have a great boyfriend, and a baby on the way. A baby that'll arrive any day now, due date was today so hopefully I'll hold a little baby in my arms in a few days. It's almost christmas eve, one of my favourite holidays. My life so far has been better than I thought it would have been. From time to time I make a scrapbook about different things in my life and looking in them, looking back at these old pictures brings so many memories so many feelings and I can't do anything but smile and maybe shed a tear or two of happiness. I miss a lot of it and some things will never be the same. But I'm blessed I really feel that I am and I will stop complaining. I will always bring the memories with me and never forget. A life is most often devided into different chapters, and a few of them have passed but there are still many to get to and go through.

Do what you want when you can because living with regret is one of the worst feelings ever. I just needed to get this out, to write it down...

It's wednesday today.. God, the due date is friday THIS week, only TWO days away.. I hope the little one will come out soon but right now that feels like wishfull thinking. My stomach hurts and my lower back hurts, feels like I'm having my period all over again but without the blood. Hopefully that's a good sign and hopefully the little one will take it's pretty little face and show it to the world. I want my baby now. I'm sick of being pregnant, being fat all the time.. I know I'm complaining but come on it's almost christmas eve and I do NOT want it to be born on one of the biggest holidays of the year. I feel sorry for the little one arraving so close to it and it would be horrible to be born on that particular day. Come on baby, not christmas eve not christmas eve. Going to visit my mum and aunt today in lack of anything else to do.

Hugs and kisses readers I need to get to the train! 

Well now it's only nine days left 'til due date. The days are flying by but at the same time it's passing really slowly. I don't know what to do with my time so most of my days results in movie watching and just waiting for people to get home from work.. Today I went up early which resulted in two movies, and some christmasfun. I was thinking about baking some gingerbreads but I really don't feel like it anymore so my second plan is visiting my mother.. I need a plan. I need something to do. Sure I can clean and I can do the dishes and the laundry but that's no fun. And I have actually done some laundry just because it was well needed. If I'm going to my mom's I need to leave for the train in a minute or two.. The decisions are many and I'm babbling on about nothing.. 

This was me exactly one week ago..